5: Ten Secrets to Attract and Retain Men
“Actual Ideas Already Proven To Work”

Pat Morley and David Delk

Thanks to the churches and leaders around the country who shared these ideas with us.

I. Create Momentum

1. Pastor Prayer Group: Organize a group of men to pray for your pastor every Sunday morning before the services begin. If 12 men gather on Sunday morning to pray for their pastor, what would you call that? The beginnings of a men’s ministry. Principle: The senior pastor ultimately determines the priorities of the church. Support the Senior Pastor as you encourage him to support your men’s ministry.
   
   
2. The Bill Gates Idea: Come up with a dynamic purpose statement that gets men excited about getting involved. What do your men want? Friendships, growth, better marriages, godly kids, worship, service, etc. Principle: The power of purpose. Examples: Bill Gates (Microsoft, "A computer on every desk and in every home"), Robert Woodruff (Coca Cola, "That every U.S. serviceman in WWII could buy a Coke for a nickel", then "That everyone in the world would be able to buy a Coke during his lifetime"), Man in the Mirror ("Engage every man in America with a credible offer of the gospel and the resources to grow.")
   
   
3. A “Care Call” Team: Triple your attendance at events. Form a “call team” of trained men responsible for ten guys each. Have them establish a regular phone or email relationship that communicates, “I care.” Principle: Most men don’t feel like anyone really cares about them personally. Permutation: Double your attendance at events by mobilizing Phone Teams With Scripts: Establish phone teams utilizing scripts and make sure every man in your church data base receives a personal phone call invitation to an event. (Remember the old sales adage: “Go. If you can’t go, call. If you can’t call, write.”)
   
   
4. Word of Wife: Use a “Word of Wife” campaign to have her get him interested in your ministry. Methodically make an appeal to all women’s groups and studies. Have a woman promote the event to the women during announcements with a sign up table that morning. Use emails to wives (make it clear that you intended to send it to them for informational purposes). Principle: The Mordecai Principle—send the person to ask who is most likely to get a yes, or least likely to get a no. Not manipulation, but rather illustrating the value of men’s ministry to all the constituencies in your congregation.

II. Capture Momentum

5. The World’s Biggest Small Group: Help your senior pastor facilitate a kick off gathering at the beginning of each semester for four weeks. Then, funnel these guys into small groups (one church gets 100+ guys out for the four weeks, then funnels them into their 47 small groups). The larger setting is a safe first step for guys and allows them a chance to develop relationships before entering a group. Principle: Give men the opportunity to come along at their own speed and find their own level of involvement. Principle: Give men what they need in the context of what they want. Tip: Possible “What they need in the context of what they want” ideas: how to raise daughters, career counseling day, work day with sons, financial and work seminar.
   
   
6. Work Teams: Increase ownership and involvement. When a guy comes up with a ministry idea, put him in charge of a “work team” and turn him loose to make something happen. Principle: Men who love God can’t be happy until they find a way to serve Him.
   
   
7. A Great Bible Teacher: Don’t overlook the obvious. Men will get up early to hear good male-context, application-oriented Bible study.

III. Sustain Momentum

8. Mom’s Night Out: Get dozens more men involved in your ministry by offering childcare and children’s programs concurrent with your men’s activities. Remember, if she’s happy, he’s happy. “You get over there, now, and take the kids.” Principle: Don’t call men away from their families just to tell them they need to spend more time with their families.
   
   
9. The Prayer Chair: Change a man’s life by putting a chair in the middle of a circle, have him share his need or struggle, then pray for him. Principle: A man needs to "vent" emotionally every now and then - make it a spiritually productive experience.
   
   
10. Leadership Teams: Recruit new leaders by constantly “evangelizing” men about your purpose. Train leaders for vacancies in the church by getting cultural Christians in small groups where they come to authentic faith and get turned on. Principle: Everything boils down to leadership.

IV. Two Ideas That Missed the Cut...

11. Follow a map: “We just did everything it says to do in No Man Left Behind.” Principle: Be intentional and follow a strategy.
    
    
12. Free Books: Hand out free copies of The Man in the Mirror or another Book for About $1 to build friendships and help men change their lives. Principle: When a man gets hold of a book, God will often use the book to get hold of the man.

Do you have a practical secret for men’s ministry that you’d like to share with other men? Email it to daviddelk@maninthemirror.org.